Reluctant Father Read online

  "I won't go!"

  "I'll take her," Mrs. Jackson said in her best martyred tone.

  "No! You won't let me buy the frilly dress!" Sarah turned her attention to the two curious onlookers. "She's in the paper," she said, her eyes on Meredith. "She writes books. My daddy said so."

  Meredith managed not to look at Blake. The unexpected sight of him after so much time was enough to knock her speechless. Thank God she'd learned to mask her emotions and hadn't given herself away. The last thing she wanted to do was let Blake Donavan see that she had any vulnerability left.

  Sarah walked over to Meredith, staring up at her with rapt fascination. "Can you tell stories?"

  "Oh, I guess I can," she said, smiling at the child who was so much like Blake. "You've got red eyes, Sarah. You shouldn't cry."

  "I want the frilly dress and a party and other little children to play with. It's very lonely, and they don't like me." She indicated Blake and Mrs. Jackson.

  "One day, and she's advertising to the world that we're Jekyll and Hyde." Mrs. Jackson threw up her hands.

  "Which one are you?" Blake returned, glaring at her.

  "Jekyll, of course. I'm prettier than you are," Mrs. Jackson shot back.

  "Just like old times," Elissa said with a sigh, "isn't it, Merry?"

  Meredith wasn't listening. Sarah Jane had reached up and taken her hand.

  "You can come with me," the little girl told Meredith. "I like her," she said to her father belligerently. "She smiles. I'll let her wash my face."

  "Do you mind?" Blake asked Meredith, speaking to her for the first time since she'd entered the shop.

  "I don't mind." She didn't look at him fully, then turned and let Sarah lead her into the small bathroom in the back of the shop.

  "She's changed," Mrs. Jackson said to Mrs. Donaldson. "I hardly knew her."

  "It's been a long time, you know. And she's a famous woman now, not the child who left us."

  Blake walked away uncomfortably, staring at the dresses. Elissa moved closer to him while the other two women talked. She'd been a little afraid of Blake when she'd first met him years ago, but she'd gotten to know him better. He and King were friends and visited regularly.

  "How long has Sarah been with you?" she asked him.

  "Since yesterday afternoon," he replied dryly. "It seems like years. I guess I'll get used to her, but it's hard going right now. She's a handful."

  "She's just frightened and alone," Elissa replied. "She'll improve when she has time to settle down and adjust."

  "I may be bankrupt by then," he mused. "I had to walk out of a board meeting. And all because Sarah Jane wanted a frilly dress."

  "Why don't you buy it for her and she can come to my Danielle's birthday party next week? It will be nice for her to meet children her own age."

  "She'll sit on the cake and wreck the house," he groaned.

  "No, she won't. She's just a little girl."

  "She wrecked my living room in just under ten minutes," he assured her.

  "It takes mine five minutes to do that." Elissa grinned. "It's normal."

  He stared toward the bathroom. Meredith and Sarah Jane were just coming out. "There are people in the world who have more than one," he murmured. "Do you suppose they're sane?"

  Elissa laughed. "Yes. You'll understand it all one day."

  "Look what Merry gave me!" Sarah enthused, showing Blake a snowy white handkerchief. "And it's all mine! It has lace!"

  Blake shook his head as she turned abruptly and grabbed the dress she'd been screaming about. "It's mine. I want it. Oh, please." She changed tactics, staring up pie eyed at her daddy. "It will go so nicely with my new handkerchief."

  Blake laughed and then caught himself. He looked at Mrs. Jackson. "What do you think?"

  "I think that if you buy Sarah Jane that dress I'm going to put it on you," the older woman replied in a hunted tone.

  "You really shouldn't give in because children have tantrums, Blake," Mrs. Donaldson volunteered. "I know. I raised four."

  He stared at Mrs. Jackson. "You started this. Why would you tell her she couldn't have the damned thing in the first place?"

  "I told you, it was too expensive for her to play in."

  "She'll need a dress to come to Danielle's party," Elissa broke in.

  "Now see what you've done," Blake growled at Mrs. Jackson.

  "I won't take her shopping ever again. You can just let somebody else run your company and do it yourself," Mrs. Jackson grumbled.

  "I don't know what to think of a woman who can't manage to buy a dress for one small child."

  "That isn't just one small child, that's one small Donavan, and nobody could say she isn't your daughter!" Mrs. Jackson said.

  Blake felt an unexpected surge of pleasure at the words. He looked down at the child who looked so much like him and had to agree that she did have some of his better qualities. Stubborn determination. Not to mention good taste.

  "You can have the dress, Sarah," he told her, and was rewarded by a smile so delightful he'd have sold his Mercedes to buy the damned thing for her no matter what it cost.

  "Oh, thank you!" Sarah gushed. "You'll be sorry," Mrs. Jackson said. "You can shut up," he told her. "It's your fault."

  "You said to take her shopping, you didn't say what to buy," she reminded him huffily. "And I'm going home."

  "Then go on. And don't burn lunch," he called after her.

  "I couldn't burn a bologna sandwich if I tried, and that's all you'll get from me today!"

  "I'll fire you!"

  "Thank God!"

  Blake glared at Mrs. Donaldson and Elissa, who were trying not to smile. This byplay between Blake and Mrs. Jackson was old hat to them, and they found it amusing. Meredith's expression was less revealing. She was looking at Sarah and Blake wished he could see her eyes.

  But she turned away. "We'd better get on," she told Elissa. "Bess will be waiting for us to pick her up at the beauty parlor."

  "Okay," Elissa grinned. "Just let me get those socks for Danielle and I'll be ready."

  She did, which left Meredith stranded with Blake and his daughter.

  "Isn't it pretty?" Sarah sighed, pirouetting with the dress held in front of her. "I look like a fairy princess."

  "Not quite," Blake said. "You'll need shoes, and some clothes to play in, too."

  "Okay." She ran to the other racks and started looking through them.

  "Is it normal for them to be so clothes conscious at this age?" Blake asked, turning his attention to Meredith.

  "I don't know," she said uncomfortably. His unblinking green-eyed gaze was making her remember too much pain. "I haven't been around children very much. I must go—"

  He touched her arm, and was astonished to find that she jerked away from his touch and stared fully at him with eyes that burned with resentment and pain and anger. "So, you haven't forgotten," he said under his breath.

  "Did you really think I ever would?" she asked on a shaky laugh. "You were the reason I never came back here. I almost didn't come this time, either, but I was tired of hiding."

  He didn't know what to say. Her reaction was unexpected. He'd imagined that she might have some bitterness, but not this much. He searched what he could see of her face, looking for something he knew he wasn't going to find anymore.

  "You've changed," he said quietly.

  Her eyes looked up into his, and there was a flash of cold anger there. "Oh, yes, I've changed. I've grown up. That should reassure you. I won't be chasing after you like a lovesick puppy this time."

  The reference stung, and she'd meant it to. He'd accused her of chasing him and more, after the reading of the will.

  But being reminded of the past only made him bitter, and he hit back. "Thank God," he said with a mocking smile. "Could I have that in writing?"

  "Go to hell," she said under her breath.

  That, coming from shy little Meredith, floored him. He didn't even have a comeback.

  Sarah came
running up with an armload of things. "Look, aren't they pretty! Can I have them all?" she asked the scowling man beside Meredith.

  "Sure," he said absently.

  Meredith turned away from him, smiling. It was the first time in memory that she'd ever fought back—or for that matter, said anything to him that wasn't respectful and worshipful. What a delightful surprise to find he no longer intimidated her.

  "Ready to go?" Meredith asked Elissa.

  "Sure am. See you, Blake!"

  "But you can't go." Sarah ran to Meredith and caught her skirt. "You're my friend."

  The child couldn't know how that hurt—to have Blake's child, the child she might have borne him, cling to her. She knelt in front of Sarah, disengaging the small hand. "I have to go now. But I'll see you again, Sarah. Okay?"

  Sarah looked lost. "You're nice. Nobody else smiles at me."

  "Mrs. Jackson will smile at you tonight, I promise," Blake told the child. "Or she'll never smile again," he added under his breath.

  "You don't smile," Sarah accused him.

  "My face would break," he assured her. "Now get your things and we'll go home."

  She sighed. "Okay." She looked up at Meredith. "Will you come to see me?"

  Meredith went white. Go into that house again, where Blake had humiliated and hurt her? God forbid!

  "You can come to see Danielle, Sarah," Elissa interrupted, and Meredith knew then that Elissa had heard the whole story from King. She was running interference, bless her.

  "Who's Dan—Danielle?" Sarah asked.

  "My daughter. She's four."

  "I'm almost four," Sarah said. "Can she say nursery rhymes? I know all of them. 'Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty—'"

  "I'll give your Daddy a call and he can bring you down to Bess's house, where Meredith is staying. Bess is my sister-in-law, and Danielle and I go to see her sometimes."

  "I'd like to have a friend," Sarah agreed. "Could we do that?" she asked her father.

  Blake was watching Meredith shift uncomfortably. "Sure we can," he said, just to irritate her.

  Meredith turned away, her heart going like an overwound watch, her eyes restless and frightened. The very last thing she wanted was to have to cope with Blake..

  "Bye, Merry!" Sarah called.

  "Goodbye, Sarah Jane," she murmured, and forced a smile, but she wouldn't look at Blake.

  He said the appropriate things as Elissa followed Meredith out the door, but the fact that Meredith wouldn't look at him cut like a knife.

  He watched Meredith climb in under the wheel of the red Porsche. It didn't seem like the kind of car she'd drive, but she wasn't the girl she'd been. His eyes narrowed. He wondered if she was still as innocent as before, or if some man had taught her all the sweet ways to make love. His face hardened at the thought. No one had touched her until he had. But he'd been rough and he'd frightened her. He hadn't really meant to. The feel and taste of her had knocked him off balance, and at the time he hadn't been experienced himself. Nina had been his first woman, but his first real intimacy, even if it had been relatively chaste, had been with Meredith. Even after all the years in between, he could feel her mouth, taste its sweetness. He could see the soft alabaster of her breasts when he'd unbuttoned the top of her dress. He groaned silently. That was when he'd lost his senses—seeing her like that. He wondered if she knew how green he'd been in those days, and decided that she was too inexperienced herself to realize it. He'd wanted Meredith to the point of madness, and things had just gotten out of hand. But to a shy young virgin, his ardor must have seemed frightening.

  He turned back to his daughter with memories of the past darkening his eyes. It seemed so long ago that the rain had found him in the stable and Meredith had come in looking for his uncle.

  Three

  It had been late spring that day five years ago, and Blake had been helping one of the men doctor a sick horse in the stable. Meredith had come along just in time to see the second man leave. Blake was still there. She'd come to ask where his uncle was, but it was a rainy day, and she and Blake had been caught in the barn while it stormed outside.

  Blake had hungrily watched Meredith as she stood on her tiptoes to look toward the house. She was wearing a white sundress that buttoned up the front, and as she stretched, every line of her body had been emphasized and her dress had ridden up, displaying most of her long legs.

  The sight of those slim, elegant legs and the sensuous curve of her body had caught him in the stomach like a body blow, and he'd stood there staring. It shouldn't have affected him. He had Nina, who was blond and beautiful and who loved him. Meredith was plain and shy and not at all the kind of woman who could attract him. But as he'd looked at her, his body had quickened and the shock of it had moved him helplessly toward where she stood in the wide doorway, just out of the path of the rain.

  Meredith had heard him, or perhaps sensed him, because she turned, her eyes faintly covetous before she lowered them. "It's really coming down, isn't it?" she asked hesitantly. "I was just about to go home, but I needed to ask your Uncle Dan some more questions."

  "You're always around these days," he'd remarked, half-angry because his body was playing cruel tricks on him.

  She'd blushed. "He's helping me with some articles for the school paper, and I'm going to do a book with the same information," she'd begun.

  "Look!" He scoffed at that. "You're barely twenty. What makes you think you've learned enough to write books? You haven't even started to live."

  Her head came up and there had been a flash of anger in her pale gray eyes, which was instantly disguised. "You make me sound like a toddler."

  "You look like one occasionally," he remarked with faint humor, noting the braid of her hair, which she'd tied with a ribbon. "And I'm almost twelve years older than you are." He pushed away from the barn door, noticing the faint hunger in her face as he went toward her.

  The hunger was what touched him. It hadn't occurred to him that women besides Nina might find him physically attractive. He had that damned scar down one cheek, thanks to Meredith, and it made him look like a renegade. His arrogance didn't soften the impression.

  He looked down his nose; at Meredith when he was less than a foot from her, watching the expressions play across her face, it was a pretty good bet that she was innocent, and if she'd been kissed, probably it hadn't been often or seriously. That, at least, made him feel confident. She didn't have anyone to compare him with.

  His eyes went to her soft bow of a mouth, and with an impulse he didn't even understand at that time, he tilted her chin up with a lean hand and bent to brush his lips over hers.

  "Blake…!" she gasped.

  He hadn't known if it was fear or shock… hadn't cared. The first contact with her mouth had caused a frightening surge of desire in his lean body. "Don't back away now," he bit off against her soft lips. "Come here."

  He'd pulled her against him and his mouth had grown rough and hungry. Even now, five years later, he could feel the soft yielding of her body in his arms, smell the scent of her as she strained upward and gave him her mouth with such warm eagerness. He could hear the rain beating on the stable roof, and the soft sounds of a cow settling down in the darkness beyond where they stood silhouetted against the driving rain.

  Blake had been amazed by the tentative response he got from her lips. That shy nibbling drove him over the edge. He eased her back against the wall of the barn, out of sight, with his mouth still covering hers.

  Then he let his body slide down against her so that his hips were pressing feverishly against hers, his chest crushing her soft young breasts.

  He fell her quickened breathing, heard the soft "no!" as he felt for and found one firm breast and touched it through her clothing The feel of her made him wild- He remembered the white-hot flames that had consumed him with the intimate touch. He'd wanted her with a shuddering passion and his mouth had grown more and more demanding, She gave in to him all at once, her body relaxing, shive
ring, her mouth shyly responding. His tongue pushed gently inside her tips and she stiffened, but she didn't try to pull away.

  Confident now, his fingers worked at buttons and he lifted his head just fractionally to look down at what they uncovered. Her breasts were bare under the dress and he groaned as he bent to brush his mouth against them. He felt her gasp and her hands gripped his arms hard The silky taste of her body stripped him of control entirely, the feel of her skin against his face made him wild. His hands grew roughly intimate in passion and his mouth closed hungrily over one firm breast.

  What might have happened then was anyone's guess. He hardly heard Meredith's frantic voice. It wasn't until he caught the sound of a car driving up that his sanity returned.

  He lifted his head, breathing fiercely, in time to see Meredith's eyes full of fear. He realized belatedly what he'd done. He took a sharp breath and levered himself back up, away from her, his body in torment with unsatisfied desire, his eyes smoldering as they met hers.

  She blushed furiously as she fumbled buttons into buttonholes, making herself decent again. And only then did he realize how intimate the embrace had gotten. He didn't know what had possessed him. He'd frightened her and himself, because it was the first time he'd ever lost control like that. But, then, he hadn't been experienced, he realized now. Not until he and Nina were married. His first taste of sensual pleasure had been with Meredith that day in the stable.

  He didn't speak—he was too shocked. The sudden arrival of his uncle had been a godsend at the time, but later it dawned on him that his uncle had guessed what had happened between Blake and Meredith and had altered his will to capitalize on it. His favorite godchild and his nephew—he would have considered them a perfect match. But Blake hadn't thought of it at the time. He'd been so drunk on Meredith's soft mouth that he'd almost gone after her when she mumbled some excuse and ran out into the rain as he and his uncle watched her.

  Then, within days, his uncle was dead of a heart attack. Blake had been crushed. The sense of loneliness he felt when it happened was almost too great for words. Meredith had been around, with her parents, but he'd hardly noticed with Nina clinging to him, pretending sympathy. And then, suddenly they were reading the will. Blake was engaged to Nina, but still trying to cope with the turbulent emotions Meredith had aroused in him. The will was read, and he learned that Uncle Dan had left twenty percent of the stock in his real estate companies to Meredith. The only way Blake could have it would be by marrying her.