Merciless Read online

  “Did you take it back?”

  “I couldn’t find it,” she said, flushing. “I was going to tell the boss, but then after Jon got shot and the robbery at my place, I was so upset that I forgot all about it. Oh, boy, am I in trouble! They’ll fire me for incompetence…!”

  “They won’t. But the D.A. needs to know about that file. I’ll talk to him.”

  She was almost prostrate with relief. Until she realized that she’d spilled the beans to Kilraven. She looked at him with horror.

  “I’m not going to tell Jon about Markie,” he assured her gently. “But you have to. You know that.”

  “I’m not telling him,” she said stubbornly. “And you’re not telling him. He’d never believe it. He’d only think I was lying out of greed. I’ve told people for years that Markie’s father was in the military and he died overseas. I’m not changing that story now.”

  He looked at the stubborn set of her features. “How do you think Jon is going to feel if he knows that he has a child he was never told about?”

  “He’s never going to know,” she said flatly. “If he wanted to be married by now, he would be. And it wouldn’t be to a low-class nobody like me. My parents were farm people. My father was the first person in his entire family to ever get a college degree. My mother never even graduated from high school. She works as a waitress and her husband works as a night watchman. We’re the sort of people your mother would never voluntarily invite into her home!”

  “Cammy’s not like that,” he said softly. “You don’t really know her.”

  “I know that she wants the best for her son,” she said, avoiding his eyes. “Just as I’d want the best for my own. It’s not a bad thing to leave some secrets unsolved, Kilraven.”

  “You’re not going to bend an inch, are you?”

  She shook her head. “I had to decide whether or not to keep my child,” she said softly. “I made the only decision I could, but I also had to consider what would happen to Jon if he was presented with the consequences of an accident he doesn’t even remember happening.” She looked up at him. “I couldn’t make him responsible for something he did in a drugged state of mind, something he’ll never really remember. I could have stopped. I didn’t. It’s my fault. I was only a little tipsy. He wasn’t.”

  “And you love him.”

  She swallowed again. “Yes.” She looked up. “You won’t tell him?”

  He shook his head. “No. But I think you’re wrong. About telling him the truth, and about his reaction. He’s furious that I had to bring Rourke up here.”

  “Rourke is here?” she asked, stunned.

  “He’s been here ever since you arrived. I couldn’t take the chance that Monroe might make good on his threat. He’s a fumble-fingered idiot, but he has friends who aren’t.”

  “You really think he was only after the file?”

  He smiled. “Yes.”

  She relaxed a little. “I’ll still be in trouble about that.”

  “I don’t think so. But tell Jon about the file, just to be on the safe side.”

  She nodded.

  “And think about what I’ve said. Just think about it?”

  She grimaced. “I will. But I won’t change my mind.”

  “Fair enough.”

  Rourke walked into the room with Kilraven a few minutes later.

  “Joceline, my angel!” he exclaimed, opening both arms wide. “We can be married in ten minutes, if you’ll just agree. I can bribe a judge…!”

  “I work for the government,” she said stiffly, and she didn’t smile.

  He threw up his hands. “Are they all like that?” he asked Kilraven. “So full of business and puffed up with maintaining the law?”

  “Most of us are, yes,” Kilraven said with pursed lips.

  “Don’t take her side,” Rourke pleaded. “I’m dying of unrequited love, and you’re not helping me a bit.”

  “You’re supposed to be protecting her, not trying to marry her,” Kilraven pointed out.

  “Damned straight,” Jon said from the doorway of his bedroom. He was haphazardly wrapped in a blue toweling robe, with striped pajama bottoms below and bare feet lower, and a bare broad chest visible in the opening. He was glaring at Rourke.

  “You shouldn’t be out of bed!” Joceline fussed.

  Jon lifted an eyebrow. “I’m tired of lying down.”

  “You’ll tear open the wound!”

  He glared even more darkly at her. “Cut it out.”

  She glared back. “Blood is hard to get out of beige carpet,” she said gruffly.

  He burst out laughing and winced as it pulled the stitches.

  “See there? That’s why you shouldn’t be out of bed! Kilraven, make him lie down,” she told his brother.

  “I had to have stitches the last time I tried to make him do anything,” Kilraven told her patiently.

  She sighed with pure exasperation. “He’s going to pull something loose!”

  Jon ignored them both and was now glaring at Rourke. “You’re here to keep her and the boy safe, not to make a spectacle of yourself with mock marriage proposals. We clear?”

  Rourke’s eyebrows met over his eye and eye patch. His one pale brown eye twinkled amusedly. “Oh, yes, sir,” he agreed.

  Jon’s black eyes narrowed. “And you’re not to let the child out of your sight, ever.”

  Rourke chuckled softly.

  “Something funny?” Jon asked belligerently.

  “Well, considering that the boy shares a suite with his mother, and you want me to watch him around the clock…”

  “You know what I mean!”

  “Jon, you’re tottering,” Kilraven said, moving to his brother’s side. “Now get back in bed and stop trying to micromanage everything and everyone around you.”

  “I’m not tottering!”

  Kilraven caught him as he pitched forward.

  “Told you so,” he muttered. “Now come on. Back to bed!”

  He half lifted the younger man back into his room, and into the huge bed. “Now stay there,” he said firmly.

  Joceline peered around the door. “Is he all right?” she asked worriedly.

  Jon’s dark eyes smiled into hers. “Just a little weakness,” he assured her. “Nothing to worry about.”

  “Okay,” she replied, and relaxed. “If you’re sure.”

  “Did you check with Betty at the office about that court date for Jacob Rand’s preliminary hearing, the one I’m supposed to testify at?” he asked.

  “Forgot. I’ll do it right now.”

  He watched her walk away with soft, quiet eyes.

  Kilraven pursed his lips and his eyes smiled. “She’s nice,” he said.

  Jon nodded. “I’m lucky to have her. Even if she won’t make coffee.”

  Kilraven didn’t reply to that. He was busy worrying about other complications. Ones that were going to be inevitable when the truth came out.

  Joceline had Jon’s work caught up in three days. She was uncertain about whether or not to remain. He was healing well, but there were things she could do at the office and needed to do, to prevent a pileup when he returned. But he was reluctant to have her leave.

  They’d gotten into the habit of having a bedtime snack together after Markie went to sleep. Of course, it led inevitably to hot sessions in his bed that were growing more passionate and harder to stop as time went on. Her reaction to him was instantly, helplessly responsive. He knew it and became even more insistent.

  But she was able to pull back. Barely.

  “We can’t,” she said huskily when he became even more insistent about undressing her.

  “Why can’t we?” he murmured against her soft breasts. “Everyone else does it.”

  She pulled his head back. “Because we aren’t everyone else,” she insisted. “And because I already have one child out of wedlock.”

  He took a sobering breath. “Yes.”

  She sat up, rearranging her clothing and got to her fee
t. “I should leave.”

  “No!”

  She turned and looked down at him. “It’s only going to get worse,” she said miserably. “It’s just because you know me and this is a new experience. You don’t even like me usually.”

  He was looking at her with hungry eyes. “I’ve always liked you.”

  “Oh, really?” she asked in a teasing tone. “Was that before or after you threw a law book at me?”

  “I threw it at the wall,” he pointed out. “And it wasn’t a law book, it was a gaming magazine.”

  He made a face.

  She grinned at him. “I really do have to get back to the office. And I…need some space. Just for a few days.”

  He cocked his head and studied her. “Then what? After the few days?”

  She drew in a long breath. “Can’t we talk about that later?”

  His face grew tight. “You’re looking for an exit sign.”

  “My whole life has been a series of exit signs,” she murmured.

  “You don’t think I’m serious.”

  “You don’t know me,” she replied. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

  He frowned. “What do I need to know?”

  “More than I’m willing to tell you, at the moment. And I do need some sleep.”

  He grimaced. He laid back down with a sigh. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt us to slow down a little.”

  “I’m glad you agree.”

  “I’m being forced to,” he pointed out. But he smiled.

  She shrugged. “I want you to get well.”

  “Me, too.” He gave her a long look. “But Rourke is going back with you. I don’t like it,” he confessed. “But I have to agree that he’ll take care of you.”

  She felt insecure. “You don’t think someone would really try to hurt Markie?”

  “They killed my niece.”

  She swallowed a rush of panic. “Yes.”

  “They won’t get Markie. I promise you they won’t,” he said.

  She let herself relax, just a little. “Thanks.”

  “And we’ll talk some more. Tomorrow.”

  She hesitated. But his smile was intoxicating. Her heart jumped. She smiled back and nodded. “Tomorrow.”

  Joceline jumped out of bed, aglow with the newness of her relationship with Jon and hope that there might really be a future for them. She was herding Markie toward the kitchen when she opened the door and ran into a nightmare.

  Cammy Blackhawk gave her and the child a glare that would have stopped a rampaging horde.

  “What are you doing in my home?” she asked coldly.

  Joceline wasn’t usually lost for words, but she had reason to fear this woman and her reactions. She hesitated. “Working.”

  “Not for me,” Cammy said haughtily. “I have never invited you here! I never would! And to bring that…that child here! How dare you!”

  Joceline bent and lifted Markie into her arms. He was looking upset already. He stared at the dark-haired woman with wide, shocked eyes.

  “Please lower your voice,” Joceline said stiffly. “You’re upsetting Markie!”

  “As if I care,” the other woman replied haughtily. “You had your fun and he’s the living proof of it, proof that you have no morals whatsoever!”

  Joceline bit her lower lip. “You don’t know a thing about me,” she said huskily.

  “I know all I need to. You’re here trying to turn my son’s head, to make yourself attractive to him! You’re chasing him because he has money and you’re poor!”

  “You stop yelling at my mommy, you bad old girl!” Markie said angrily.

  Cammy was momentarily diverted by the child, which gave Joceline enough time to turn on her heel and go back the way she’d come.

  “Where are we going, Mommy?” Markie asked.

  “Home, baby, as soon as I can pack.” Her heart was beating overtime. She was almost in panic mode, she, who rarely panicked. She’d never seen such hatred in another human’s eyes.

  “Good,” he muttered, and buried his face in her neck. “I don’t like her. She’s mean!”

  “You stay away from my son!” Cammy added haughtily. “I’ve brought my young friend here to take care of him while he’s recuperating. We don’t need you!”

  Well, that meant he wouldn’t miss out on any exciting fashion news, but it was beyond Joceline’s whirling mind to vocalize the thought.

  She put Markie down and started putting things into her ragged old suitcase. Cammy stood in the doorway, waiting, her arms folded tight over her chest. It outraged her that the woman had been here, with Jon, alone in her own house while she was in Europe!

  “Make sure you don’t take one thing that isn’t yours,” Cammy snapped.

  Joceline ignored her.

  Markie clung to his mother’s legs. “I don’t like it here,” he told her. “I want to leave.”

  “We’re going in just a minute, baby,” Joceline told him.

  The child’s voice was husky and he was breathing oddly.

  Joceline went down on one knee. “Breathe. Breathe. Look at me. Just breathe, okay? Don’t think about it. Just breathe. Here—” she grabbed the rescue inhaler “—breathe in. Again. Yes. Better?”

  He nodded. His chest rose and fell rapidly, but with less force. His breathing regulated, just a little, as the medicine started to work.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Cammy asked, reluctantly.

  “Nothing at all. Get your toys, sweetheart.”

  Markie picked up a worn bear and a ragged cowboy doll and hugged them to his chest. He was still a little shaky. Joceline was worried sick but she didn’t dare show it. She finished putting their few articles of clothing in the suitcase, stuffed Markie into his jacket and put on her own. She picked up her purse and the suitcase.

  “You’re welcome to check my luggage,” she told Cammy.

  The older woman was looking at them with eyes that saw more than they wanted to. They saw poverty and hopelessness and reluctant acquiescence to an unreasonable demand.

  “We’ll go now,” Joceline said. She took Markie’s hand and led him out the door. She stopped and turned, her chin lifting with quiet pride. “Can you please ask someone to drive us to the bus station in town? It’s too far for Markie to walk.”

  “You don’t have a car?”

  “My car wouldn’t make it past downtown San Antonio, Mrs. Blackhawk,” Joceline said with painful pride. “Mr. Blackhawk flew us up here.”

  “I’ll have one of the hands drive you to town.”

  “Thank you. We’ll wait on the porch.” She tugged Markie along with her.

  Cammy picked up the in-house phone. “Have one of the men drive Miss Thingy to the bus station with her…son,” she spoke into it. “She’s on the porch.”

  “I’ll drive her myself, you raging old bat,” came an Afrikaans-accented tone over the phone. “And you can take your prejudices and your old-world attitudes and go straight to hell with them.”

  The phone on the other end was slammed down. “I never!” she exclaimed, outraged.

  She stormed into Jon’s bedroom. Her protégée was trying to puff up his pillows while he glared at her.

  “That terrible man told me to go to hell!” she told Jon, fuming. “What sort of people do you have working here?”

  “Who told you that?” he asked, furious.

  “That Rourke person,” she said angrily. “I only asked someone to take your secretary to town to catch a bus…”

  “Joceline? Catch a bus?” He sat straight up in bed. “Damn it!”

  “Now, Jon…”

  He reached for the phone. “Get me Rourke. I’ll wait!” He glared at Cammy. “Rourke, what’s going…she did what?” He listened. “Yes. You go with them. Take her to the airstrip…I’ll send the pilot down. Tell her…hell, never mind, I’ll tell her myself.”

  He hung up. He got up. “I’m going back to San Antonio. Get the hell out of my bedroom!” he told the blond
e and his mother.

  “Jon,” Cammy said gently, “I’m sorry. Please. Don’t get up. You’re ill…”

  “I was getting better until you decided to destroy my life!”

  Cammy bit her lip. Tears were forming in her eyes. “Jon, that woman has designs on you. I don’t think you really understand…”

  “You’re the one who doesn’t understand,” Jon shot back. He was furious. “You’re not going to manage my life for me. You’re not going to tell me whom I can marry, or what I can do. You’re my mother, not my owner!”

  Cammy shifted her stance. “You’re sick and now I’ve upset you. I’m very sorry. I’ll apologize to what’s-her-name later…”

  “Her name is Joceline,” he said in a tone that threatened.

  “Yes, of course, Joceline…” She straightened. “She had a child out of wedlock,” she began.

  “So did you,” Jon shot back furiously.

  Cammy’s face went white as a sheet. “Wh-what?”

  “Except that you chose termination over delivery, isn’t that right?” Jon persisted, while the blonde stood by in total shock and without saying a word. “You were afraid that my father wouldn’t want the child, since you weren’t married to him at the time, and you had a termination. It wasn’t until he proposed that you realized what you’d done, but it was too late then, wasn’t it?”

  She leaned back against the wall, shattered. “I never told anybody!”

  “Dad drank,” he said coldly. “When he drank, he talked. He’d have married you, he said, if you’d only told him in time. He grieved for the child. He grieved for you, for a decision you’d made that he thought would tear you apart.” His eyes were cold. “But it didn’t hurt you, did it, Cammy, since you can sit in judgment on a woman who had more courage than you did.”

  She closed her eyes and shivered.

  “Uh, this is obviously a very private conversation. I think I’ll just wait outside,” the blonde said, tiptoeing out of the room.

  “You can wait with her,” Jon told his mother. “I’m leaving, as soon as I can get dressed.”

  Cammy opened her eyes. They were dark and troubled. “I thought it was the only thing I could do,” she said in a distant tone. “I never thought about how it would be, after…” She looked up at him. “I never wanted you to know.”