The Reluctant Father Page 11

  “Why? Do you suspect that I’m going to drag you into my bedroom and lock the door?”

  “Of course not,” she said too quickly.

  “Pity,” he remarked, shouldering away from the wall. “Because that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

  And he did, quickly, smoothly and with deadly efficiency. Before Meredith had time to say anything, he had her in his room. He paused to lock the door and then lowered her onto the middle of the king-size bed.

  She lay there breathless, staring up at him, as he bent over her, one lean hand on either side of her head, his green eyes biting into hers.

  “How afraid of me are you, Meredith?” he asked quietly. “If I start making love to you, are you going to kick and scream for help?”

  Her lips parted as she looked up at him. She wasn’t afraid of him at all. During the day, something had happened to both of them. The time they’d spent together had acted to bring them close. She knew more about him now than she ever had, and the thought uppermost in her mind was how much she loved him. Her eyes fell to his hard mouth, and she wanted it, and him, almost shockingly.

  “No, I’m not frightened,” she said. “Because I know you won’t hurt me or force me to do anything I don’t want to. You said so.”

  He seemed to relax a little. “That’s true. I meant it, too.” His eyes slid down her body, lingering on the thrust of her breasts against the tank top and the way her jeans clung to her rounded hips and long legs. “You can’t imagine the effect you’ve had on me all day in that getup. Do you know how sexy you are?”

  “Me?” she asked with a faint, delighted smile.

  “You.” He lifted his gaze back to collide with hers. “And you aren’t getting out of here yet.”

  She felt tiny tremors shooting up and down her spine at the delicious threat. “I’m not?” she asked huskily.

  He lowered himself down over her so that his chest was almost touching her breasts and his mouth was within an inch of hers. “No,” he breathed. “You’re not.”

  Her hands slid up around his neck and her eyes dropped to his mouth. He smelled of cologne and she loved the feel of his shoulders and back under her hands, the hard muscles under the thin shirt. Her breath jerked out of her throat as she felt the warm threat of his body and tasted his coffee-scented breath on her lips.

  “Just relax,” he whispered as his mouth brushed hers. “I won’t hurt you.”

  Her hands slid into his thick hair and she let her body sink under the warm weight of his chest as it pressed against hers. His mouth was slow and hungry, and she didn’t mind when it began to probe inside her own. She’d never kissed anyone except Blake this way, and she loved the sensuality of it. She let his tongue enter her mouth and her hands clung as the new sensations ran like fire along her nerves and made her weak.

  She kissed him back, savoring the warm hungry mouth on hers. One of his hands supported her neck, but the other slid over her shoulder and suddenly covered her soft breast.

  She took an audible breath and he lifted his head, but he didn’t remove his hand.

  “You’re a woman now,” he whispered. “And we’ve done this together once before. Except that this time, I’m not so green.”

  “Yes.” She touched his fingers, lightly brushing them, while her eyes looked into his glittering ones with building excitement. Her swollen lips parted. “You could…unbutton it,” she whispered shakily. “I’m not wearing anything under it.”

  She colored as she said it, and he realized how much courage it took for her to make him such an offer. Was she trying to prove that she trusted him, or could she feel the same hunger he did?

  His fingers slid to the buttons and slowly began to slip them out of the buttonholes. And all the while, he searched her eyes, held them. “Why aren’t you wearing anything underneath?” he asked when he’d finished and the edges were still touching.

  “Don’t you know, Blake?” she whispered with aching hunger. She arched just a fraction of an inch.

  The invitation was as blatant as if she’d shouted it. He slowly peeled the edges of the tank top away from her full, firm breasts and let his eyes fall to them. They were as beautiful as they had been five years ago. A little fuller now, firmer. The color of seashells and rose petals, he thought dizzily as his eyes lingered on the hard tips that signaled her desire.

  “Have you ever let any other man see you like this?” he whispered, because it was suddenly important.

  “Only you,” she replied, and her eyes were warm and soft, almost loving as they met his. “How could I let anyone else…?” she asked huskily.

  “Meredith, you’re exquisite,” he bit off. His fingers brushed over one perfect breast lightly, barely touching it, and she cried out.

  The sound startled him. He stopped at once, scowling at her in open concern. “Did I hurt you?” he asked softly. “I knew you were delicate there. I didn’t mean to be rough with you.”

  She stared at him curiously, biting her lower lip as she tried to control the tremors he’d set off. “Blake…it didn’t hurt,” she said hesitantly.

  “You cried out,” he said, his eyes steady and honestly worried.

  She colored furiously. “Yes.”

  The scowl stayed as his hand moved again. His green eyes held hers the whole time while he stroked her gently, smoothed the hard tip between his fingers and cupped her in his lean, rough hand. And she whimpered softly and cried out again, her body shivering and lifting up to him.

  “Damn Nina!” he whispered roughly.

  Meredith was too drugged to understand what he’d said at first. Her whirling thoughts barely registered in her mind. “What?”

  “Never mind,” he whispered huskily. “Oh, God, Meredith…!” His mouth went down against her breast, and she moaned, arching under him. The sound and her trembling drove him crazy.

  He kissed every soft inch of her above her hips, savoring both breasts, nibbling at her creamy skin, dragging the edge of his teeth with exquisite tenderness over her stomach and rib cage. And all the while his hands caressed her, adored her. He made a meal of her, and long before he lifted his head, she was crying and pleading with him for something more than he was giving her.

  He dragged air into his lungs, his eyes wild, his chest rising and falling raggedly as he looked down into her abandoned eyes.

  Her face fascinated him. She looked as if he was torturing her, but her hands were pulling at his head, her soft voice was begging for his mouth. She moaned, but not in pain. And the most exquisite sensations racked his lean body as he poised over her. “You want me,” he whispered huskily.

  “Yes.”

  “Badly,” he continued.

  “Yes!”

  His hands smoothed over her breasts and she shuddered. His breath caught. “I never dreamed a woman could sound like that. I never knew…” He bent to her mouth and kissed it softly. “My God, she was suffering me, and I didn’t even have the experience to realize it.”

  “What?”

  He dragged himself into a sitting position, and when she made a halfhearted effort to cover herself he pulled her wrist away. “Don’t do that,” he said quietly. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I won’t hurt you.”

  “I know that. I’m just…embarrassed,” she faltered, flushing.

  “You shouldn’t be,” he said firmly. “The first intimacy I ever shared with a woman was with you. And your first one was with me. I know what you look like. I’ve seen you every night in my dreams.”

  She relaxed a little, sighing as she sank back on the bed. “It’s just new,” she tried to explain.

  “Yes, I know.” He brushed his fingertips over a firm breast and watched her shiver with pleasure. “That’s sweet,” he breathed. “That’s so damned sweet, Meredith.”

  Her breath sighed out. “Blake…”

  “What do you want?” he asked, reading the hesitant curiosity in her eyes. “Tell me. I’ll do anything you want.”


  “Could you…unbutton your shirt and let me look at you?” she whispered.

  His blood surged in his veins. He flicked buttons open with a hand that was deftly efficient even as he trembled inside with the hunger she aroused. He moved the fabric aside, and when he saw the sheer delight in her eyes at the thick mat of hair over impressive muscle, arrowing down to his jeans, he stripped the whole damned shirt off and threw it on the floor to give her an unobstructed view.

  She held out her arms, and he groaned as he went into them, shuddering when he felt her nipples press against his chest as he crushed her into the mattress.

  “Blake,” she moaned. Her arms clung and her lips searched blindly for his. She found them and kissed him with all her heart, feeling his mouth tremble as it increased its hungry pressure.

  He slid over her. His hands found her hips and urged them up against his, moving them against his rhythmically, letting her experience the full surge of his arousal.

  She was whimpering, and he felt his control giving. It would only take another few seconds…

  “No!” he bit off. He jerked himself away from her and rolled over, but he couldn’t get to his feet. He lay there doubled up, while Meredith managed to get her trembling arms to support her. But she didn’t touch him. He was shivering and she wanted to cry because she knew it was hurting him that he’d had to stop.

  “I’m sorry,” she wept. “It’s all my fault.”

  “No, it isn’t,” he said through his teeth. He drew in sharp breaths until he could get himself under control. His body relaxed and he lay there for a long moment, fighting the need to roll over and strip her and submerge himself in her soft warm body.

  “I wouldn’t have stopped you,” she breathed.

  “I know that, too.” He finally dragged himself up and ran his hands through his damp hair. His eyes darted to her half-clad body, softening as they swept over her full breasts. “Button your top,” he said gently. “Or I’m going to start screaming my head off.”

  She managed a shaky smile as she pulled her top together and buttoned it with trembling fingers. “You make me feel beautiful,” she whispered.

  “My God, you are,” he returned. His darkened green eyes held hers. “I can’t begin to tell you what those sweet little noises you were making did for my ego. I didn’t know women made noise or looked like that when they made love.”

  She searched his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

  “Meredith,” he began heavily, “Nina smiled. All through it, all the time. She smiled.”

  It took a minute for that to get through to her. When it did, she went scarlet. “Oh!”

  “I hurt you, that first time,” he continued. “So I didn’t get any passionate response. I didn’t have any other experience when I married Nina, so I thought women were supposed to smile.” A corner of his hard mouth lifted ruefully. “But now I know, don’t I?”

  Her face felt as if she might fry eggs on it. “I couldn’t help it,” she confessed self-consciously. “I never dreamed there was such pleasure in being touched by a man.”

  He caught one of her hands and pressed its soft palm hungrily to his mouth. “The pleasure was mutual,” he said, his glittering gaze holding hers. “I almost lost it. You let me hold your hips against mine, and I went crazy.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I should have pulled away.”

  “Are you supposed to be superhuman?” he asked reasonably. “I couldn’t stop, either. Together we start fires. I wanted nothing more in life than to feel you under me and around me, skin on skin, mouth on mouth, absorbing me into you.”

  She caught her breath and trembled at the words, seeing the quiet pride in his eyes when he realized the effect they had on her.

  “I want to make love to you,” he whispered roughly. “Here. Now. On my bed.”

  “I can’t.” She closed her eyes. “Please don’t ask me.”

  “It isn’t lack of desire. What, then? Scruples?”

  She nodded miserably. “You know how I was raised, Blake. It’s hard to forget the teachings of a lifetime overnight, even when you want someone very, very much.”

  “Then suppose you marry me, Meredith.”

  Her eyes opened wide. “What?”

  “We get along well together. You like Sarah. You want me. You’ve got a career, so I know you don’t need my money, and you know I don’t need yours. We could build a good life together.” He searched her shocked face. “I know I’m not the best matrimonial prospect going. I’m short-tempered and impatient, and I can be ruthless. But you know the worst of me already. There won’t be any terrible surprises after the vows.”

  “I don’t know…” she argued.

  “You want hearts and flowers and bells ringing.” He nodded. “Well, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes you have to settle for practicalities. Tell me you don’t want to live with me, Meredith,” he challenged with a faintly mocking smile.

  “That would be a lie,” she said, sighing, “so I won’t bother. Yes, I want to live with you. And I’m very fond of Sarah Jane. Taking care of her wouldn’t be any trial to me. But you’re still not going to let your emotions get in the way of a good business deal, are you, Blake?” she returned. “You want me, but that’s all you have to offer.”

  “For a man, lovemaking is one big part of a relationship,” he said, choosing his words. “I don’t know much about love. I’ve never had any.” He lifted his eyes back to hers. “If it can be taught, you can teach me. I’ve never been in love, so you’ve got a good shot at it already.”

  She sighed at his summing-up of the situation, despite the ache in her heart for something he might never be able to give her. He was locked up emotionally, and nobody had a key.

  He leaned down, his face poised just above hers. “Stop thinking, Meredith,” he whispered. His mouth nibbled at her lower lip, smoothing over its delicate swell. His hands cupped her breasts, hot even through the fabric of her tank top and sensual as they caressed her. One long leg insinuated itself between both of hers and she felt it begin to move lazily.

  “This isn’t fair,” she whispered shakily.

  “I know. Unbutton your top again,” he whispered, and proceeded to tell her exactly why he wanted her to and what he intended to do when she unfastened it.

  Her body tingled with heat. She wanted him. Her moan was pure surrender, and he knew it. His heart leaped as he felt her fingers working at the buttons. And then she was all silky warmth under him, her breasts soft and yielding under his searching hands, his hungry mouth.

  “You aren’t…going to stop…this time, are you?” she whimpered as his mouth grew even bolder.

  “That depends on you,” he said in a strange, thick tone. “I’d never force you.”

  “I know.” Her mind tumbled while she tried to decide what to do. Part of her knew it was a mistake. But it had been so many years, and she’d done little else but dream of him, of lying in his arms and loving him.

  His hand slid to the fastening of her jeans and he lifted himself so that he could see her eyes. “If I start this, I’ll have to finish it,” he said gently. “I’ll go all the way. You have to decide.”

  Her fingers lingered on his. “I don’t know,” she moaned. “Blake, I’m afraid. It’s going to hurt…!”

  “Only a little,” he whispered solemnly. “I’ll be as slow and tender as I can. I’ll do anything you want me to do to make it easier for you.” He bent to her mouth, touching it lightly with his. “Meredith, don’t you want to know all the secrets?” he asked huskily. “Don’t you want to see how much pleasure we can give each other? My God, just kissing you makes my blood run like fire. Having you…” He groaned as he kissed her. “Having you…would be unbearably sweet.”

  “For me, too.” Her arms tightened around his neck, and she buried her face in his hair-roughened chest, savoring the smell and feel of him in her arms.

  His hands smoothed down her hips and his weight settled over her, gently, so that he wou
ldn’t frighten her. His mouth trembled as it found hers, and he kissed her with exquisite warmth and tenderness.

  “This is how much I want you,” he whispered as he moved sensuously against her.

  She felt his need, and an answering hunger made her tremble. “Blake…what about…precautions?” she choked out. “I don’t know how.”

  His lips lifted just above hers. “I’m going to marry you,” he told her roughly. “But if precautions are important to you, I can use something.”

  Heat shot through her. She felt her nails digging into his back, heard her own wild cry as she lifted to him. His face hardened and she saw his eyes darken as his mouth came slowly back down to cover hers.

  “We should…” she whimpered.

  “Yes,” he whispered. But his mouth grew demanding, and his last sane thought was that creating babies with Meredith was as natural as wading in country streams and walking in the park. He closed his eyes, shaking with the need to join his aching body to hers and give her the same sweet pleasure he felt when he touched her.

  Chapter 8

  Meredith trembled, half blind with pleasure as Blake’s mouth became more demanding. It was almost enough just to kiss him, to feel the exquisite weight of his body on hers as his hand worked at the fastenings of her clothes.

  “The light,” she whispered huskily.

  He touched her mouth tenderly. “I know,” he said deeply, reaching for it. “You might not believe it, little one, but I’ve got more hang-ups than you have.”

  The room was in darkness then, except for the faint moonlight seeping in through the white curtains. His hands smoothed down her breasts, savoring their warm fullness. She gasped and he searched for her mouth in the darkness.

  “Meredith,” he whispered huskily.

  “What?” she breathed.

  “One of us needs to do something if you don’t want me to make you pregnant. You haven’t really answered me.”

  She felt the heat in her cheeks. He was right, it was something they had to consider. She swallowed. “I’m not on the pill,” she confessed.